There was I point in time where I literally had everything. I had money, weed, fast food, friends, video games, anything you want. I had around $150,000 in Bitcoin. I’d use it to buy weed and LSD on the deep web. Back then, I shit you not, you could get an ounce of red good quality weed for $120 on the deep web. You could also get LSD for $10 a tab.
I used to buy acid and get like 5 tabs at a time for $50. I also would buy an ounce at a time for again, $110. I remember never really relying on local dealers cause I could just buy weed and acid online. I have so many stories and experiences to talk about relating to my drug use. One of my fondest memories was literally ordering the weed to my house (my parent’s house) and waiting five or so days and checking the tracking everyday.
One time I remember I had been so bored without weed and finally it arrived. It was morning and I think no one was home and I remember going to the mailbox and taking the package. Then I took it to my room and it was like christmas. I opened it up and it was vacuum sealed and double packages. As soon as I opened the package and the smell of weed came into my room I was in heaven. Then i’d put it in a mason jar and hide it in my closet. The amount of security knowing I had that weed there whenever I wanted and the money I had knowing I had that security for life was amazing.
Fast forward at the beginning, this all started when I was like thirteen. I was hanging with my buddy in the woods and we stole cigarettes from some place. Then we both lit one up and he inhaled but I didn’t. I didn’t know how to inhale.
Then he introduced me to weed and I would smoke a vaporizer in my bathroom but never inhaled. Picture below. It was my daily ritual and ‘safe space’ so to speak, even though I never inhaled. I always looked forward to vaping it at the end of the day.
Then I got more money and bought a Pax 2. Picture below.
I finally learned to inhale on multiple occasions. The first was on an acid trip with a friend and the second was just a chill smoke sesh with a different friend. On the first time, I was tripping balls and very confused (acid does this). I was smoking a joint with a friend and he noticed I didn’t smoke it right. He then told me: “You gotta (inhale) to really feel it”. And he showed me. And I got blitzed out of my mind. Then there was an occasion before that when I got high technically my first time. It was using the Flowermate V5.0s (the picture above the one above). I remember I thought it’d be like in a movie, where I get high, chill out, and eat fast food and just laugh and have fun. That didn’t happen lol.
I remember being completely home alone and I had already had chicken tenders and fries delivered and I placed it on my desk for when I was hungry getting high. Long story short, I went to my shed and vaped the weed and inhaled so much I guess. I literally remember thinking I was in a game or computer program. Or it was anxiety and panic?
Basically, my pulse skyrocketed and I was losing my mind. Everytime I started to panic and get anxious, time would feel like it was slowing down. And then on the flip side, I could also get a different anxiety where I could make time speed up. I remember immediately running to my bedroom and overanalyzed everything. I remember I was basically feeling paralyzed and losing my mind. I remember looking at the flashing power light monitor on the bottom right of my computer monitor and feeling as if I lost my mind. If I stared at the light and felt scared, I could make the time before the light flashes go very slow. If I felt a different version of scared, I could make the light flash very fast. I thought I could control time ( I guess my interpretation of time then?).
I then remember texting one of my stoner friends saying that I thought the weed was laced. He started laughing and texting ‘LOL’ and that basically that he knew the weed wasn’t laced and that that was the normal feeling of weed for a first timer — especially if one was to smoke as much as I did. I then remember looking outside and seeing my grandma literally in the front of our yard roaming around and feeling the leaves on trees and smiling having a great time.
That freaked me out because my grandma never leaves the house like ever. I also had this weird recurring feeling (like whenever i’d get high afterwards) where I could use laser like focus on things. I remember zooming in on my grandma and could notice every little movement and action she was doing. The smile on her face and her act of touching the leaves and flowers. And I felt immense empathy for her. Just seeing her embrace nature gave me some common ground with her and gave me a lot of compassion and understanding (me and my Mom have had problems getting along with her our lives).
I don’t remember what happened after that but basically the more I kept smoking the more it turned into less of a really intense bad panick attack like trip or something and more into just something that was chill and mellowed me out.
Again, i’ve had so many bad experiences with weed and lsd, but I also had some remarkably good experiences too. It really depended on the setting and what was going on in my life. Once I finally learned to inhale the weed became more and more important.
I remember when I was like 15 it turned really chill. I had an amazing ritual with the Pax 2 as shown before.
So when I was 15, this was in 2015 and I was a sophomore in high school. Good times man.. being young and growing up and still able to have so much mindless fun without having to overthinking about being an adult just yet taking life seriously. I had a ritual of having about two smoke sessions a day. I used to come home and pack a full chamber (shown below) and then place the Pax 2 on my window sill. This would be at like 2:20pm or so. I then would put a TV show or movie on on my computer and then go on my bed and lay on a small pillow that was on the wall under my window sill.
After that, i’d crack open my window and press the power button the vape (shown on the circle in the middle of the device below)
After powering it on, it’d take about 30 seconds to heat up fully to be able to use it and vape the weed. It showed green when ready.
This entire time was pure bliss. I’d actually have times where I’d take one hit and just fall asleep and forget about it (it’d turn off automatically). Just the anticipation of the device being ready and getting high was enough to make me so happy. Now, what after? In some crazy way I actually managed to go to lacrosse practice after. I managed to get stoned out of my mind and manage to wake up at 4pm to be at lacrosse practice at 4:30pm. And no one really ever commented at practice if I was high or not. These days, if I were to get stoned, i’d full on cancel all my plans cause i’d rather just sleep instead. So it’s insane that I still had perfect attendance while getting high everyday.
Then at night, it’d all repeat. I’d come home, eat dinner, play League of Legends, do my side hustle, then pack my Pax 2 and use it the same way. I’d put on something on the TV after packing the Pax 2. I’d then place the Pax 2 on my window sill, crack the window, and turn the Pax 2 on. I’d then lay under a blank while laying my back on a small pillow under the window sill. I’d then rip the Pax 2 when it was ready, and then eat peanut butter with apples or fast food or rice cakes. And more often than not, i’d rip it a few times and just fall asleep it was that strong. Also most of the time, i’d barely make it more than 20 minutes into the show/ movie I was watching before my eyes got so heavy i’d pass out.
On top of this, again, this is my parents house. My room is right across the hall from their bedroom. I’d vape in my room and do two sessions a day. And this thing reeked. For some reason, they’d rarely ever complain about the smell? I was lucky I guess.
On top of that, when I started vaping weed everyday, I actually lost 40 pounds (instead of gaining weight from munchies like normal I guess?). I remember it was weird but if I smoked enough then that was enough to keep me happy I guess. I didn’t need food to fill the void anymore (I have been overweight my whole life and use food for pleasure and escape).
Other consequences started to: over time I just started to be tired all the time. I remember waking up and still being high from last night, or just plain being so much more tired than usual because I guess those are the after effects of getting really high the day before. I remember my grades were fine but i’d frequently just wake up and sleep on the bus. Or just sleep in first period. Even some of my classmates commented on my eyes being red and they knew I was stoned lol. I remember in study hall i’d just sleep or go to the library and sleep with my head down.
Also at this time I was obsessed with League of Legends. I remember I frequently would just go into school and walk into the library and go onto the computer. Then i’d pop in an earbud and just watch twitch.tv streams of League of Legends for entertainment. Mindless stuff but at the time I was actually like really high rank in the game so it sort of wasn’t that big a waste to watch it?
Then I moved onto dab carts. Overall, I really had some great experiences with weed (while alone mostly) but it really affected my social life and later on my grades in college too. Basically, a dab cart is a weed pen that is very similar to a nicotine vape like a juul. You can vape a dab cart and like a nicotine vape, the smell goes away in 10 seconds and so you can never get caught and it doesn’t stick on clothes. Picture below.
I had some really sad moments with the dab cart. I remember in my AP Computer Science class (in high school remember), my buddy went to the bathroom with me and I ripped it in there and again, no smell and not getting caught. I can still remember the metallic weed taste and how euphoric and cool I felt getting high in school, having this little ‘buddy’ (the dab cart) that I could vape anytime. I remember going back to class and I can’t remember the high but I remember thinking the teacher noticed. Mind you, this high is much shorter than a real high but can be more intensed.
I then remember ripping the dab cart in math class. Overtime, it turned less into something fun and social and more into I just wanted to be alone and be high as much as I could. I remember I finally got my own but I don’t remember much else. I remember there was one time I immediately got into school and I walked into this secluded hallway that was used for wrestling and swimming practice. Then I went through the hallway and went through a door and went to the staircase that went up to the wrestling room. I then remember ripping the dab cart and just hiding there not wanting to go to class. There were times I did that and a janitor found me and just gave me a look that he felt sad for me.
One time I did that I literally got baked and walked out the school. They caught me on a camera and sent the cops to my house. Then the cops showed up my house and they asked why I left school. I said I left to watch netflix. Then I got aggressive and got detained in the kitchen while my Mom was crying while looking at me.
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